Ache
Some days I just ache.
My back, my knees, my stomach, my feet. I ache.
A cyst ruptures or the weather changes or I stress myself to exhaustion, and I ache.
Somehow, the physical aches aren't nearly as hard as the soul-filled ones. I can push my body to its limits. I can keep showing up for work when I feel like I have nothing to give. I can go and go and go. But an ache that is heart deep? Somehow that feels so much harder to carry.
I ache for the inadequacy I feel most days. I ache for the life I thought I would have by now. I ache for the friends I've lost. I ache for the hurt feelings I may have caused. I ache in loneliness, in loss, in feeling in my bones that I've somehow missed my chance.
How do you heal a heart ache? What helps soothe that pain? Is there some mystical thing I've yet to find that will somehow take away that feeling?
I don't know. This isn't even coming out the way I wanted but...it just is.
Tonight, I just ache.
My back, my knees, my stomach, my feet. I ache.
A cyst ruptures or the weather changes or I stress myself to exhaustion, and I ache.
Somehow, the physical aches aren't nearly as hard as the soul-filled ones. I can push my body to its limits. I can keep showing up for work when I feel like I have nothing to give. I can go and go and go. But an ache that is heart deep? Somehow that feels so much harder to carry.
I ache for the inadequacy I feel most days. I ache for the life I thought I would have by now. I ache for the friends I've lost. I ache for the hurt feelings I may have caused. I ache in loneliness, in loss, in feeling in my bones that I've somehow missed my chance.
How do you heal a heart ache? What helps soothe that pain? Is there some mystical thing I've yet to find that will somehow take away that feeling?
I don't know. This isn't even coming out the way I wanted but...it just is.
Tonight, I just ache.
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