festering and failure
I have something I want to get out because it has been festering inside of me for a long time. Buckle in because this is a raw post and is not going to be very pretty. I feel like a failure a lot of the time. A failure because I'm not married. Not even just not married, not dating. Guys, I have never gone on a third date. Never held hands with a boy. Never been kissed. I'm 28 and am as inexperienced in love as I was when I was 16. I don't think I am dateable. I'm not a size 4. Or 6. or 16. I have big boobs and a butt, which the world tells you is all a boy wants. But add in extra curves thanks to PCOS and suddenly I don't even rate a second glance. I've been trying for a long time go be okay with this. To learn to love and accept my body for what it gives to me. But honestly, I'm not. I sat at a party tonight and watched pictures of myself get put on a screen and all I could think was "am I really that fat?! no wonder I'm alone." I feel ...