Feeling Guilty
I spend a lot of time feeling guilty for having a chronic illness. Guilty for taking work off on a rough day. Guilty for canceling plans. Guilty for struggling to commit to plans because I don't know how I will feel. I don't want to feel guilty. So much of this chronic illness is out of my control. So much depends on something else--a stressful day can lead to a migraine, fibroid and ovarian cyst pain leads to sleepless nights which lead to migraines, migraines lead to not eating enough or often enough which leads to gastroparesis pain. And yet, I do. I took work off today because I had stomach pain. Some days that is because a cyst ruptured. Some days it's because my hormones have gone haywire and my fibroid hurts. Some days it's just because whatever I had for dinner the night before still hasn't gotten digested and my body is trying so hard to do what it needs to do. So I took work off. I stayed home in bed and tried to sleep. Tried to find a way through ...